Maybe you’ve seen the jokes on Instagram about “a moment of silence for everyone who got a 2020 planner” or jokes about all months running together to create a mish-mash of months like “Decembuary.”
I get it. Quarantining, away from friends and family, holidays changing completely, and daily routines and priorities constantly shifting can really throw off any plans you had for the year.
That said, I have clients this year who were able to prioritize better than ever what is and/or is not important to them. They paid off credit cards, spent more time with family, and got more intentional about their relationships.
It goes to show what is possible in a year, even like 2020.
Are you thinking yet about how you want to grow in 2021? Perhaps it’s because baby Selah is coming in March… but I have definitely been getting excited about 2021 growth (and stepping into that growth now, because why wait?).
Most of my clients, whether we’re talking about food or money, want to let go of perfectionism and focus on what actually makes them happy: being kind to themselves and others, grace, and having true joy.
That means, there is NO reason to wait until 2021 to start feeling the way you want to feel. Remember, the joke is that all months are mashing together anyway 😉. Why wait?
Let’s talk about personal growth and self-care for 2021 (knowing that we’re totally empowered to approach today like day one of 2021).
1. Visualize your future self
My favorite thing to think to do before setting goals is to connect with myself and what I want through visualization. What this looks like: I will get somewhere quiet and comfortable, close my eyes, and let my mind create a picture of my future self. The most expressed version of me.
Last time I did this I was living in Reno, yet in my visualization I saw myself on a walking path called the Bob Jones Trail in Avila Beach (near where we live now). I saw myself with short, blonde, curled hair (which to me, symbolized joy and self-care, putting effort into doing my hair). I saw myself running, and loving it. Having it be something that brought me great joy. As I kept my eyes closed, I kept asking myself questions like “okay, and now what does work look like for you?” and I would just sit there, and let whatever was coming to mind, come to mind. I saw myself in the kitchen, putting snacks together with a little babe in my arms. She/he was blonde (we’ll see what Selah looks like!). I then saw another kiddo playing on the floor with Abby (is this a future-future visualization? Am I watching a friend’s kid? Who knows! But it was soo fun to see).
After my visualization I ferociously journaled all that I visualized. Everything I saw got me so excited and made me feel so connected to myself.
A year and a few months later… we are living back in SLO County, I have short and blonde (sometimes curled) hair, I am pregnant with Selah girl, I enjoyed running up until about 10 weeks pregnant (I now walk with Abby as it feels more “right” for my body right now), and I truly feel that I’ve stepped into that visualization. How wild is that?
I don’t see this as some super woo-woo, you-think-it-and-create-it thing… but yet something where I was able to sit and get into the experience of really connecting with where I wanted to be. Connecting with what made me feel most full — the most expressed version of me.
Fun fact: Immediately after my visualization I booked a hair appointment to cut/dye my hair. Here’s a photo right after. It was something that immediately allowed me to step into my future self.
The rest of this post includes the other things that I did to fully step into this visualization.
2. Write down everything about your future self
After you visualize, write down everything that you saw. What did you look like? Where were you? What were you doing? What were you wearing? How did you feel? What made you happy? What lit you up inside?
When I did my visualization, I think I saw myself about two years out… but, I don’t think the timing matters as much as just connecting with the version of you that you want to step into, so don’t get too tied up into timeframes.
You can journal this in free-write form (just write!), jot down all of the details list style, etc… I don’t care how you write it down, just write it down.
3. Read books or listen to Podcasts that are in line with your growth
After you visualize where you want to be, how you want to feel, and what version of you you’re stepping more into, it’s time to find some things that can pour into YOU that you align with. This may be audio books, music that inspires you, Podcasts, etc.
Think of YOUR form of getting poured into. It could even be fiction books if you’re trying to create more of a feeling in your life, and there are fiction books that align with that feeling. Don’t limit yourself. Whatever feels fun/right for you, is.
Clear the clutter of anything that is NOT in line of how you want to grow. Examples of that!
4. Get counseling or coaching
The next thing I did and encourage you to do is to hire a coach or counselor (or both!). I have already done quite a bit of counseling to really understand myself, my childhood, how I communicate, and why I think/feel the way I do. So, I was ready for some coaching! Some action.
I hired a coach for three months and before our first session I wrote down everything I wanted to work toward that I saw in my visualization. A few things I wrote down (that, spoiler — all came true!) were…
Side note: I literally just opened up my goal sheet that I used with my coach and got soo teared up because these things literally happened. And I knew they would make me happy, but I don’t think I knew to what extent they would truly impact me. They did!
Here’s exactly what I wrote in my coaching goals:
- Invest more time/energy into my personal growth
- Start running (jogging) and get really comfortable with it
- Either be pregnant or have a good perspective on trusting for the right timing AND have a clear, great way to support my husband as he takes a little longer to arrive at his own readiness
I also wrote a note to my coach about running and said: “With running, I don’t want to push myself to somewhere drastically different than where I am right now – I feel healthy. I want running to be something that I thoroughly get to enjoy, that challenges me a little bit, but where I still fully honor and listen to my body.”
I then had an opportunity to share with her how obsessive I used to get over goals like “start running” and we worked through that (which is why coaching is so great: we were able to work past any fears that I had about it feeling like it did before for me — restrictive, disappointing).
5. Don’t wait for perfect or “ready” — just start
Which brings me to this next point! Don’t try and create a perfect version of your goal. Just start slowly moving toward it. I once heard Seth Godin say “If you want to be a writer, it helps to write. If you want to be a runner, it helps to run.” I love this perspective because it simplifies things!
If you want to be good with budgeting, it helps to have a budget. If you want to be an intuitive eater, it helps to eat intuitively. I can almost laugh at the simplicity of it… But it’s so true, we overcomplicate things. SURE, blocks come up, but that’s what we get support for (just like I did with a coach!).
With running, I had to shift my mindset to just starting and letting what I would have deemed as imperfect before, as my success now. Meaning, I could jog from my house to the stop sign on my street and I could consider that my “run” for the day, if that’s what felt good that day. See how different that is than telling myself that I have to run 2.3 miles as fast as I can (and likely pressure myself to beat an earlier time) in order to consider it a “success”? This is ultimately what led me to LOVE running. To take Abby off leash and have it be a time of play, joy, and listening to my body (I’d allow myself to walk anytime my body asked for it). There were NO rules.
I hope that encourages you that no matter what your goal, have grace for yourself. I always say, if you’re going to do something, you may as well find a way to enjoy it.
6. HAVE FUN
This is maybe the most important of all? Have fun while you’re working toward who you want to be! Take the things that may seem little/silly to you as serious. Recognize that they mean something to you, and that’s why you saw them in your visualization.
For example, you see yourself feeling your kid blueberries. Go buy some blueberries! You see your hair a certain way, schedule out a time to get your hair done! You’re wearing black leggings and a white tank top? Pull that outfit out for tomorrow!
The point is, the things that come to you when you think of your most joyful, expressed self, matter. When you start writing things off as “Eh, that’s not a big deal, who cares” you’re saying to yourself “what you want isn’t really a big deal, who cares… there’s other more important things to focus on.”
That’s exactly the message we’re going to change in 2021 (starting now), okay? What you want, who you want to be becoming, how you want to feel, it all matters.
Looking to expedite your growth in 2021?
If you’re looking for a place to expedite your growth in 2021, join us in The Growth Vault, a supportive community of women who are all on the same health, growth and intuitive eating journey, albeit at different stages.
Inside The Growth Vault you get:
- video and audio courses to guide you through intuitive eating, self-growth and self-care, so you can step into a calmer relationship with food AND clear all the clutter in your life that is stopping you moving forward
- a supportive community of wonderful women who are on the same journey as you
- the members’ private Facebook group and our monthly Coffee Connections call, where you can where you can connect with other members, ask questions, and get support.
- mini-coaching sessions from me when you call in during my office hours once a month
- 30% off a one-off one-on-one coaching session with me, which I don’t offer anywhere else
…and so much more!
As your coach inside TGV, I would personally love to have the privilege of supporting YOU toward making your vision a reality – just like my coach supported me! We would love to have you!