Are You Telling Yourself These TWO Self-Sabotaging Lies?

How to Let go of Two Self-Sabotaging Lies You May be Believing and Discover What You Really Want

Good-morning… How was your Monday? How is your Tuesday going?

Today I want to chat about two things that I think we all believe sometimes… and why it would do us good to let those beliefs go (especially when there are things we really want to be doing, but are having trouble starting).

These two things are:

That “later” is a better.
That “having more time” is the solution.

Have either of these things crossed your mind before?

If not, you’re super-woman…(and I might not believe you).

Let’s play around with the topic of exercise. I’d like to share a little personal story with you:

When Marco and I were still living in Ventura, and there were just weeks until our move to San Luis Obispo, I used to sit and wonder what the heck I’d do with my time in a new place where I literally knew no one. Want to know what went through my mind?

“I’ll likely have a ton of time and energy for exercise. Especially on Saturdays when Marco’s at work… I’ll probably want to work a lot more, and feel extra determined to get things done. I’ll also want to eat at home more, save more money…”

I thought once we moved (later), and I had more time to myself, I would magically want to work more, run more, and save more. All of this… turned out to be FALSE. I had unrealistic expectations.

Want to know the TRUTH?

Reality is, now that we’ve moved, I do have more time – my schedule cleared of family events, meeting with my Mission Church group, book club, and bible study. The amount of friends I have here are also pretty slim (surprise, they do not magically appear) so that frees up my time even more.

Even so, I am still ME – just in a different location. I still want to work about the same hours. I still love being comfortable in the morning and don’t just spring out of bed for a workout. I still have to encourage myself to exercise and remind myself why I love it…

Here’s an example of what I might remind myself: “I feel good when I exercise. I love the feeling after a workout that allows me to feel deeply rested, clean, and refreshed. During a workout, I feel inspired, and uplifted. My skin feels totally rejuvenated and extra glowing after sweating it out.. I love that! Often times the most inspired and empowered I’ll feel during the day is in the middle of a great workout. For all of these reasons, I love to move my body.”

I still have to choose to get started each day. Think about it: working out is not the world’s most comfortable activity. It does take effort, and it’s definitely not as cozy as our beds are first thing in the morning. BUT, it can be an incredibly empowering part of our day.

The point of this entire post, is to share that thoughts like: “I’ll feel like doing that later, but not now” or, “I’ll start that once I have more time” or, “Surely, I’ll feel like doing x once… ” are actually not serving you. It would likely serve you well to recognize those thoughts as what could be holding you back from having what you really want.

You can relate this post to any area of your life. I used exercise as an example because I believe that many of us can relate to exercise being something that we say we’ll do later or when we have more time. Right? Can you relate?

So, let’s talk more about what it is that you really want…

What is it that you often find yourself waiting until later to do? Can you see that later you’ll still be the SAME person with the SAME feelings (you’ll still want to be comfortable at home, for example)?

If you find yourself not following through with what it is that you want, look at what’s stopping you.

Whatever it is that you want, you’ll want to recognize WHY you want it.

Your action step today: block out 10 minutes to sit down and think through the following…

Psssst… Steer clear of thinking “later” or “when I have more time.” Do this, it won’t take long…

When are you most in your power (in this season of life – I believe that realistically, we need to expect this to fluctuate)? For me, in this season, it’s when I’m exercising. Perhaps this is true for you too, or maybe there’s another time when you feel most empowered (more examples: in the shower, while you’re getting ready, when you’re cooking, when you’re listening to certain music, during quiet time, while you’re driving, the moment you’re alone, etc…).

Whatever it is, get in your power today, and ask yourself what it is that you want without holding back. Make a list. Once you have that list, write “because…” next to each desire. The point is to be thinking about WHY you want what you want. What will having x do for you?

I want to feel fit because…
I want to be positive today because…
I want to have a tan (haha) because…
I want to get a new iPhone because…
I want to end work on time today because…
I want to read that book tonight because…
I want to sit at the table for dinner because…

To figure this out, close your eyes and imagine yourself already having what you want. What do you see around you? Where are you? Who are you with? Perhaps you feel that when you have x you will be in x place with x person doing x… Think it all through…

Now, WHY is it that you want each thing that you want?

It’s OKAY to want something.

Through doing this exercise you’ll likely realize one of three things for each desire:

  1. The real reason WHY what you want is important to you – you’ll finally feel empowered;
  2. You don’t actually have a reason for wanting something – maybe life is “good enough” without it and that’s why you haven’t been motivated to do it – you’ll probably want to change your WHY; or
  3. That you thought you wanted something, but now you can see it would serve you better to let it go.

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