We all need a little BAD in our lives.
Tell me, are you someone who focuses on doing good ALL the time? (Or most of the time?). Be honest here.
When I was going through IIN, Joshua, the founder of the school, brought up this concept of intentionally “being bad.”
It struck me like a ton of bricks. Why?
Because I had ALWAYS been SO used to being GOOD.
Being a good daughter.
Being a good girlfriend.
Being a good friend.
Being a good employee.
And so what would happen on Friday, Saturday and Sunday when formal routine was thrown out?
I’d want to be BADDDD. And because I had no awareness that it was OKAY to have a little BAAAAD in my life it was like ALL or nothing, girlfriend.
It was like either we’re NOT drinking or we’re REALLY DRINKING. Either we’re eating 100% healthy/clean or we’re driving through McDonald’s for an ice cream, Wendy’s for the French fries, and then hitting up CVS for the candy. Of course, this was in college when my sleep schedule allowed for these wild nights 😉
Did this version of being bad make me feel good? Physically… NO. I felt like CRAP after these nights. Mentally… in the moment YES. It was exhilarating to throw out the rules. To not care. To laugh. To act goofy and do all of the things we thought we shouldn’t do.
NO, the good feelings never lasted because they were always followed by feelings of guilt. Feelings that I was totally out of control and that I had only two options: to be entirely restricted or entirely clean/good.
And since “clean” fell under the “good” category I always chose that. Every time. Until I couldn’t handle it anymore and I inevitably WANTED to be “bad.”
It was a back and forth toss up.
I hadn’t yet learned about the beautiful land of in-between where I now reside.
TODAY… this looks VERY different in my life. Today I incorporate a little “bad” into my life DAILY. Yep! Daily…!
Today I can clearly see that being “bad” isn’t actually bad at all. It’s just LIVING. Living with spontaneity, fun and flexibility. It’s self-care. It’s creating space to BE in your life and ENJOY IT. Not just work, work, work. Produce results, results, results. It’s necessary.
Let me share with you what that looks like…
1. I eat what I want and don’t have any rules around food. Rather, I just ask my body what she wants/needs.
Through doing this for YEARS it’s rare that I crave the foods I used to eat when I was “being bad” (think: the McDonalds, candy, drive-thru scene I shared), because I trust that I can eat what I want, and through that my brain has natural rewired to crave delicious/higher-quality foods.
It’s like… If I can have ANYTHING that I want… then I want incredible food. The empty foods no longer taste good. They’ve lost their appeal. It’s not that I can’t have them, it’s that… I don’t actually want them.*
*For those of you who like to be good, watch your thoughts here. Watch that they don’t go to “Ohhh. I want that. I want to not want junk food. Let’s work really hard to not want junk foods!” No my friend. Let your process be your process. This is not a forced result. Your results will come from tuning-IN to your body.
**I should also clarify that I DO regularly eat things today that I would have considered “bad” before and now realize that they’re just FOOD. For example: chips and salsa; burritos; burgers; sandwiches; toast with my eggs; etc… It’s all allowed and it’s all a part of my diet as it sounds good to me. Nothing is off limits.
2. If I want to skip exercise because my body needs rest, I do.
3. Day one or two of my period? A nap IS my exercise.
4. Not feeling like cooking one night? Grabbing what sounds good (intuitively choosing what sounds AWESOME) it is. Marco doesn’t cook (I’m the cook in our house) so on nights when I’d rather someone else cook, we do it by going out. This freedom allows the days when I do cook to feel great.
5. My email inbox is CLOSED most of the day. I check it 1-3 times per day. The rest of the time, I’m working on my own creative/Client work.
Today, for example… my Self-Love Step (we’re talking about “being bad” in Self-Love Summer today) is to work super early (it’s 5:00 AM as I write this) and end around 8:00 AM so I can spend the day with Marco (it’s his day off). It’s a non-client day, so I’m filling the rest of the day with fun!
I hope you can see that “being bad” is actually just breaking the old rules that we tend to store in our brains and it’s allowing ourselves to live. To have fun. To enjoy being alive on this planet. To not get so busy creating a living (OR BEING “GOOD”) that we forget to create a life (OR HAVE FUN)… as they say…
Does this resonate with you? Are you always trying to be “good” in your life? I want to encourage you to make a list of all of the things you do that fall under the “trying to be good” category. Once you do that, look over that list again. How can you INTENTIONALLY add in a little bad? Where do you want flexibility/freedom?