Imagine being rude to your friends, 24/7.
You probably wouldn’t be someone people wanted to be around.
Imaging calling your friends “ugly” or “weak” or saying things to them that break them down versus lift them up.
How would that feel for them? How would that feel for you?
It would feel terrible. It’s no way to live.
Yet we women do this to ourselves all too often. Usually when we’re feeling most vulnerable.
It’s hard to move forward when someone is always mean to you.
Don’t be that “someone” for yourself.
Here’s an excerpt from the book Intuitive:
“Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to save the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It’s hard to reject the dieting mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.”Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, Intuitive Eating, pg. 315
All so true, right?
There were a couple of “moments of truth” for me in my own journey that allowed me to have more respect for my body.
1. Becoming Sober(minded)
There was a moment for me in my journey where I had the very sobering thought that as much as could wish I had someone else’s body (at the time, I wished I had a Victoria Secret models body) I was never going to.
This was a positive “clear the air” type of thought for me. It was an “Oh, yeah… that’s totally true. I will not ever have someone else’s body. So perhaps I should start enjoying the one I have now” thought.
We spend so much time wishing our bodies were different. That we had different hair. A different face shape. A different nose, hips, or thighs.
But the truth is, we were KNIT together with perfect intention (what I believe). There was no mistake when we were made.
That said, isn’t it time that you started to embrace the body you DO have?
If you were to accept this as 100% truth – that this is your body and your body is here to stay… what would that free you up to enjoy about yourself? Embrace about yourself? Treat better about yourself?
If you’re someone who is struggling with feeling like you’re not at your natural weight, that may be true. But even as your body corrects her weight, as you work on all of these things, you must be kind to yourself.
“Be understanding of yourself. Respect the fact that you may be higher than your normal body weight if you are someone who has used food to cope when you knew no other way to handle your feelings, or because you’ve been a victim of the diet mentality. Be gentle with yourself and accept that your body is where it is because you had very little choice about these factors.”Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, Intuitive Eating, pg. 316
2. Choosing to Not Compare
A second moment of “sober mindedness” for me was one day when I was walking downtown San Luis Obispo. I saw a woman, tall, thin, blonde, dressed super cute.
For a moment, I envied her. This used to be my exact ideal. What I, personally, strived for.
And then, I remembered: “I’m me and ‘me’ is perfectly okay. I don’t need to be anyone else.”
The Freedom This Brings
I didn’t/don’t need to desire to be someone else, but instead, I can embrace who I am. Doing this, instead of staying in a trap of comparison allows me to enjoy myself. To take care of myself. To even ‘like’ myself.
What freedom would it bring to your life if you were able to speak kindly to yourself? Treat yourself with impeccable respect? Believe in yourself? Encourage yourself?
This doesn’t mean you’re “stuck.” This doesn’t mean that you can’t work toward a healthier place. A healthier body and relationship with it. Better self care. You can! And it’s okay to do so. But you must have grace along the way.
This quote is proof: How you get there is where you end up.
So you if you want to end with grace, you must begin with grace.
I know this can be hard. It took me years to get to a place where I respect my body as much as I do today. But you can do it, with practice. I promise you.
If you need any support in getting there I’m giving anyone who joins The Growth Vault in July a date-yourself journaling-exercise that is sure to flip your thinking on “Body Respect.” It’s my favorite lesson yet.
Give yourself some understanding today. You might not be where you will always in be (in fact, none of us are) but you can choose to be on your way to where you’re happiest (the journey is the most incredible part).