Does It Hurt? Or Does It Burn? (Wisdom From My Husband)
The other day I was at the gym with Marco doing a new workout he made for me. He looked at me as I was doing bicep curls, scrunching my face, and showing all of my teeth. “This huuuuuurts” I said.
The next thing he said was way more impactful to me than he ever meant it to be (haha)…
“Does it hurt? Or does it burn?”
“It just burns,” I said as I continued to my workout…
Then I got to thinking… Wait… if it burns, it’s good. It’s building muscle, making my body stronger. It’s not comfortable, and I can’t wait until it’s done. But it’s good… it’s producing good results in my body. It’s making my future self stronger. I have to go through the burn.
I thought to myself… “Holy crap. Isn’t this like so many other things in my life?”
There are so many challenges and discomforts that we have to go through to grow and become better. So many ways that we have to step out of our comfort zone and “feel the burn” before we can experience the amazing results of taking risks.
A few nights ago I was having so many back and forth thoughts. The kind you have when you’re doing something new and risky and you’re freaking out, just a little bit (okay, a lot). Haha, you know what I’m talking about?
Well, I got to reading that evening, just books around my house, and my mindset started to shift. I dug out my ol’ “GIRLBOSS” book that I’d put back on the shelf after reading half of it (I do that more than I’d like to). I was so inspired as I was reading it.
In the book, Sophia features women who have basically killed it in business, and the common themes for ALL of them were: keeping their passions on fire, working really hard, and taking SO many risks.
They talked like the system goes: take one risk, get through it, feel better, take another. Like, basically, challenge yourself all of the time.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I like my comfort zone just fine!
But do I? Do I really? Does it REALLY allow me to get what I want out of my one and precious life? Sometimes, sure…! Sometimes I want to hang out in my comfort zone with my husband, at home, watching movies.
Other times I want to push myself to adventure with him, to learn how to ride a mountain bike, to have him teach me something new, to be afraid and to get through it. (Just a small example.)
I DON’T want to live in my comfort zone everyday.
For example, when I stopped counting calories, that WAS WAY OUTSIDE my comfort zone. But, I did it, and my life IS SO MUCH BETTER because of it.
Questions for you…
- Where do you want to expand your life?
- What will that require of you?
- How does that make you feel?
- How will you have to step outside your comfort zone?
- What do you need to know to feel safe enough to just go for it?
- How can you keep your eyes on the OTHER SIDE (the result).
I know for sure that when we’re taking risks, we have to know that we’ll be there for ourselves and love ourselves just the same IF we fail. And even better if we have external support too. (This is also where spirituality, whatever that looks like for you, comes in.)
And actually… *there’s no such thing as failure, ONLY FEEDBACK.* I tell this to my clients when we’re talking about food and experimenting with different ways of challenging ourselves and trying new things, so let’s use that here too.
There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.
Worst case scenario, you learn something that leads you in the RIGHT direction.
Best case scenario, whatever it is you just worked through works out and you’ll be thanking yourself for the rest of your life that you DID IT. You worked through the hard stuff. You felt the burn, and you didn’t mistake it for pain.
Girl, I am so “preaching to the choir” with this post. I think taking risks is terrifying. I go through the whole emotional rollercoaster every time. But you know what I can say? It is always worth it. And that’s what I have got to remind myself of too, every single time.
I’ll leave you with this Brene Brown quote…
“If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully lived life, we can’t equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging and joy. If we do, we’ll never show up and try again.”
SO, basically, Brene is saying take the risk. Know that no matter what, you’re loved. You belong. You’ve got your people, your support, and you’re there for yourself, too. You can have joy even through hard times, so don’t be afraid. Show up. Try again. It may all work out after all!
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