Hi, and happy Wednesday!
If you have been watching my Instagram stories, you’ll know that Selah gets to keep growing for a few more weeks, and I couldn’t be happier that I get to see this pregnancy until the end. She will be here before we know it, but in the meantime, I wanted to talk today about moments where I have felt exposed, and why this topic is so important to me.
In my latest podcast episode (#5!), I give several examples of where I have personally felt exposed, but one that I will touch on here is dancing as a little girl.
When I was in middle school, there was a certain way to dance that was considered “cool” or “accepted” by the popular group. At an age where fitting in and the desire to be popular was important, because we are trying to develop our identities and form friendships, I was so terrified that my style of dancing would not look cool enough for the popular girls.
Our class had a school dance coming up, so to practice, I danced at home with my friends and cousins, and their reaction was to laugh. Not to laugh at me, but it was just a natural reaction at having a great time together. Looking back at the situation as an adult, I can easily see that. But as my ten year old self, I felt so exposed in that moment. I created a story in my head that I didn’t know how to dance like the other cool girls.
After that moment, I shied away from dancing in front of others for years, because I felt like I wasn’t good enough or it would be embarrassing for me. Over the past few years, I have given myself permission to enjoy dancing in front of others, and it has been so freeing. Something that felt like such a vulnerable thing for me for years, that held me back from having so much fun, is no longer a trigger because I decided that I do not need to feel like a popular girl that was so important during my middle school years.
There are so many little moments or occurrences that can impact and change our story for years after it happens. For dancing, as I got older, I learned that there is no “good way” to dance when I am in a funny, goofy, or silly situation. I truly embrace the “dance like no one is watching” quote, and the times where I haven’t had fun at an event were when I cared more about how I looked to others while dancing, instead of just having fun in the moment. The memories where I truly just let loose and danced have been some of my best memories.
There is no “right” way to do these things. Trying to do something the “right” way, or being fearful that we won’t be good enough, is truly what holds us back from taking action and doing the things we want to do.
What fears are holding you back from living the life you envision for yourself because you don’t want to feel exposed, or you don’t think you will be good enough? What will you miss out on if you let your fear of being exposed continue?
You never need to be perfect, or even good, to try what you’ve been wanting to do. Who cares? What is something you can start today that you have not done from fear of being exposed? Listen to the podcast to see what I am going to start doing that I have never done from fear of being exposed.
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