Do you wear a different size today than the majority of the clothes in your closet? Are you still trying to hold onto an old pant size? Are you resisting buying clothes that fit your body where she is RIGHT NOW because that would just feel like you were giving up?
Well, girlie, I hear ya. I hear the struggle of how real and scary it feels to buy a bigger size, because I’ve been there. When I first lost weight (check out my story) I felt like I’d worked so hard to get to the size I was, that I never wanted to let it go.
Everything I did to get to that size was unhealthy & unsustainable, so it was unrealistic to think I’d stay that size forever, but still felt hard to let go of because I had become so identified by it.
Today, in total transparency, I want to share I’m STILL learning to be comfortable buying different sizes, depending on the brand. Buying a size that is any higher than my old “dream size” can feel uncomfortable, and is one of the toughest things I’ve had to shake in this journey.
So if you’re struggling with this, I know how you feel.
But, I’m here today to tell you today what’s helped me, because I know so many of you can relate to this (I hear it from my clients all the time, and I love seeing them find relief from this burden).
Go out and buy the size that fits you now.
That’s my advice. Instead of waiting, instead of feeling guilty or thinking that you’re “giving up”, just go out and buy it. The second you do, you will feel so much better and it’ll be less of a big-deal than you’re imagining it would be.
You’ll have something wonderful that fits you and helps you to feel good NOW. And you know what feeling good now will help you with? Continuing to feel good.
I always share with my clients, when we feel good, we want to keep feeling good. When we feel bad, as hard as it may be to comprehend, we usually tend to continue making choices that don’t feel good.
Here’s how that can look:
Feel good: You wake up in the morning and do something for yourself with a positive intention (you exercise; spend some extra time getting ready; or, sit down and have a slow breakfast – one that is satisfying and makes you feel great) and when it comes to making your next choice you will want to continue feeling good.
Side note: There is a difference between doing something because you want to feel good, and doing something “good” because you feel like you “should.” Drop the should’s and instead let yourself be motivated by the fact that your only goal is to feel as good as you want, right now.
Feel bad: You’re at work mid-day and you spot cookies that your coworker brought to the office. You try not to have one, but after an hour or so you “give in” and have one anyway. And when you do, you eat a few and stuff ’em down pretty quickly. You didn’t get to enjoy them, and now your tummy is bloated. You feel bad. The rest of your day feels kinda “out the window” because you already don’t feel good. What could make it worse?
This also tends to happen when we gain weight, or go up a size (even if it’s necessary weight gain) – I’ve seen it in friends, family, clients, etc… Whether it’s a little, or a lot, it can have an effect on us that can really take over if we’re not aware.
I cannot emphasize enough how important awareness is here – if you’re aware (bonus points if you also get help!) it will be so much easier to manage. I work on cultivating this awareness constantly with my own clients.
A) Let’s say you’ve gained an unexpected amount of weight and you’re feeling pretty bad about it. It can be really EASY to get stuck in feeling bad about yourself. And you know what happens when you get stuck feeling bad? You stop wanting to be in photos, you begin to hide out a little more, and you fear that anyone will notice (or God-forbid, say anything).
You know what happens when you feel THAT miserable about yourself? You lose hope, you get really down on yourself, and food becomes the most comforting thing you have while you’re hiding out and ashamed. You stay ashamed, and it’s tough to get out of this cycle.
Plus, you’re probably blaming yourself thinking “I know better than this. I know what to do to feel better/be healthier. Why can’t I just do it?”
I’ll tell you why, girlfriend. Because you’re feeling bad, and you’re staying stuck feeling bad without many other options. It’s tough – I hear you.
B) On the other hand, when we create positive awareness (with outside accountability), we become truly hopeful and can make a turn around for ourselves. We start doing little things that feel good like getting a coach, starting something new, &/or rearranging our priorities (if you’re reading this and are already working with a coach, good for you!)
When you start to feel good:
You make a choice that you deserve to feel good now.
You let go of the belief that allowing yourself to feel good now, exactly where you are, is “giving up.”
You give yourself grace. You stop replaying the video of how you got to where you are.
Instead, you look ahead.
You look at your very next choice, and you say “I don’t have to do this perfectly. I am fully loved right now. I’m okay. I want to feel good.” And the next choice you make, you decide to be considerate of how you want to feel.
You’ve done it. You’re giving yourself the beautiful gift of feeling good now.
You acknowledge how good these choices feel, and you keep going.
You also mess up sometimes. Sometimes you will make choices that DON’T feel good, and for a second you’ll think “why the hell did I do that?” but then you’ll give yourself grace and continue, right then, considering again how you *want* to feel.
You won’t “start fresh” or “start over,” rather, you’ll simply re-align with who you already know you are.
You’ll stop waiting for the next day. You’ll stop waiting for the right moment. You’ll acknowledge that your life is made up of a bunch of little “now’s.”
You go out and buy something great that fits and respects your CURRENT body. It may not be perfect, and that’s okay.
Would you stop loving your child or best friend because their body changed? No! You would encourage them when they let you know they needed it, and you would love them anyway. You wouldn’t put love or respect on hold just because someones body changed.
Treat yourself the with the same unconditional love that you would give to a best friend or a child (click to tweet)
I want to hear from YOU. What did you take away from this post? How will you treat yourself differently after reading this?
Have a girlfriend who would love this? Please share it with her – you can share it VIA any of the social icons below (social media, email, etc.). Thank you for spreading this message!
Oh, and before you go…
The release of Authentically You, my new signature group program, is right around the corner. Get ready to say goodbye to comparison, guilt, and restrictive eating, and hello to a happier, healthier, brighter YOU. Join the waitlist for the next class here.