How to be confident when you don’t feel it

Have a lack of confidence and want to build your self-esteem? Practical tips for how to build self-confidence even if you don’t feel like it.

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Have a lack of confidence and want to build your self-esteem? Practical tips for how to build self-confidence even if you don’t feel like it.

How to be confident when you don’t feel it

What makes you feel confident? Let’s look at the definition: the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something.

Are you surprised by this definition? Is it just me or you whole life have you heard of confidence being talked about from a perspective of looks?

You lose weight and you feel more confident. You get dressed and you feel more confident.

In this episode I share a story of a client who was convinced that she only felt confident at a lower weight. Whenever she’d gain weight she felt less confident in her relationships, professional life, and day to day the way she’d carry herself. She’d stop making plans and wearing clothes she loved.

She discovered, as I share in the episode, that the ONLY reason she felt confident at that lower weight is because of the way she allowed herself to show up at a certain number on the scale. She regained all of her personal power when she recognized she could feel and show up this way at any weight.

If confidence is about knowing or believing you can rely on someone or something… How do you have SELF-confidence? And how do you believe or know that you can rely on yourself?

Keeping the promises you make to yourself

Feeling confident is really all about keeping the promises that you make to yourself. When you break a promise, it chips away at your confidence. But when you keep a promise, it builds it up.

Stop making promises to yourself that you know you will not keep, and instead make only promises that you’re determined to keep. If you make a promise to yourself, think of it as an opportunity to build your self confidence by KEEPING IT.

Say YES before you feel ready

Confidence (the belief or feeling that you can rely on someone or something) is more important than competence (the ability to do something successfully or efficiently).

You can always learn and improve a skill as you go, and in order to do so you need to put yourself in environments and spaces that CHALLENGE you to grow

If you want to step into a next level of yourself but are trying to do that right here on your own in the same environment you already spend everyday in, do something different. Hire a coach, get in a community or environment that you can learn from, say YES to something that you DON’T yet understand well but be COMMITTED to learning it. Aligned Coaching is an amazing place for all of this.

Body language for confidence

One way to feel more confident is to improve your body language and posture.

Let’s see, try it right now: lift your chin, roll your shoulders back and then relax them. How do you feel? A little pep in your step? When you sit or stand tall, with your shoulders back and your head up, it sends a signal to your brain that you’re in control. This, in turn, makes you feel more confident and capable.

There are a few things you can do to improve your body language and posture. First, make sure that you’re sitting or standing up straight. Next, try to relax your muscles and avoid fidgeting. And finally, make eye contact with the people around you and smile!

In this episode I’ll tell you about the confidence experiment I do with my clients that you can try out this week. It will give you even more insight on why some people come off as confident, and others don’t.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How to be confident when you don’t feel it
  • The change my client made to stop needing weight-loss in order to feel more confident
  • A confidence experiment you can do with yourself today

Mentioned in this Episode:

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Love, Paige
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