Boundaries, I love you.
You give me the freedom I need. When I embrace you, I feel energized, clear, and able to move forward. I used to think it was “mean” to embrace you – at least when it came to setting boundaries with other people. I thought I should only be loving (true!), but that in order to do so I had to endlessly give of myself even if that giving wasn’t received (wrong!).
Recently, I’ve embraced you in some important way in my life:
- personal relationships
- social media
- my own thoughts (yep, you can have boundaries with your mind!)
- keeping myself ROOTED in faith (boundaries help me with belief!)
How to Set a Boundary
Boundaries used to confuse me… until I realized how simple they were. Two questions: What do you WANT? What do you NOT WANT?
Grab a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle, and fill the page as much as you can.
Boundaries are for YOU. You get to make them up to decide what kind of life you will have. You get to choose “I am okay with this” and “I am not okay with this.” Then you set them.
For example, “I only check email three times per day.” Self-boundary. You know that this is what will leave you feeling good, so you set a personal boundary up and honor it. Result? You feel good!
Another example, “I will not talk to my parent when they are drunk and getting angry with me for my beliefs.” Others-boundary. Now, you know you will only talk to your parent when they are sober and accept you for who you are.
Getting the feel for boundaries and why they’re so important?
Why Boundaries Are Important
If you DON’T have boundaries in certain areas of your life, I bet you can feel the “messiness” of this. The not-knowing how to act or be. This holds you back. It zaps your energy. It makes you feel drained and sucks motivation from you. You get stuck. You’ve felt this before, right?
Well, setting a boundary is like giving everything in your home a place. You know exactly where it goes. You always put it back in it’s place, it’s easy to find, and everything feels neatly arranged. You’re energized, ready to move forward and grab what you need at anytime. Life is clear and your motivation is high.
Ah, that CLEAN FRESH house feeling. This is what new boundaries do for us.
Let’s Set Your Boundaries
Want to learn what boundaries you might need and how they might help you? If you’d like my help, come join us in Aligned Coaching where I’m coaching all clients this week on how to set boundaries. Watch your life start to powerfully move forward in clarity as you set them.