Last Thursday I sent out a “VIP Q+A” email to my subscribers all about our mentality around having, or not having certain foods that don’t make us feel good.
Are you subscribed? You should be! If you’re not, fill in your name & email anywhere on my site and you’ll get these Q+A emails every other Thursday 🙂
For now, I’m going to share the email I sent last week… If you want even more of these emails, or you want to send in your own question (you can!) make sure you’ve entered your name & email anywhere on this site.
This reader asks…
So, to answer this readers question…
Ahhhhhh this question makes me so EXCITED because I so relate to it. I used to do the same.
I’d know, for example, that loads of sugar made me feel like CRAP. But I was so used to not letting myself have sugar, that the moment I “gave in” and “let myself” have it, I didn’t want to stop eating it (think: eating loads of Thanksgiving dessert after a week of being “good” – huge food coma to follow). I didn’t really think about how I felt in those moments – I was just having fun doing the thing that I was never allowed to do!
The thing that makes me MOST excited about this question is that so much of it comes down to our mindset. And I love talking about mindset! It’s fascinating to me that our thoughts create our emotions, and our emotions drive our actions.
First of all… I want to give you a healthy dose of permission.
If gluten doesn’t make you feel good, you don’t HAVE TO eat it. AND, you also don’t have to ban it from your life forever. Rather, you can make the choice as often as you want to focus on foods that DO make you feel good.
Getting to know your body and what feels good for you, and leaving diets behind means YOU get to be the expert of your body.
The way you THINK about “not eating gluten” is what’s going to make the greatest difference for you.
If I tell myself “I am going to try super hard to not have gluten” or “I can’t eat gluten” or “I shouldn’t eat gluten, it’s so bad, but oh my gosh I love it!” then it’s going to be easy for me TO EAT GLUTEN in moments where:
- I’m on vacation
- I’m having fun
- I’m not really thinking about how I want to feel in the moment and I do the “Sure, why not! I’ll have that free cookie you just offered me!” thing
If I change my mindset to:
“It’s not that big of a deal, it’s just food. It’ll always be there, and I can always have it when I choose to, however, right now I’m more interested in cuddling with my nephew and taking him outside to play!”
It’s about clearing out any thoughts of deprivation.
You CAN have gluten. You’re simply CHOOSING not to in the moment because eating SO MANY cookies is not worth how it makes you feel (even if it’s “fun” in the moment).
- When IS it worth it for me to eat a cookie with gluten? Why?
- In what situations would I love to be able to gently say no to gluten? Why? What would make me happier about saying NO in these moments? How can I NOT feel deprived when I’m saying no?
Again, it’s not about creating rules or deprivation.
It’s about responsibly knowing what does and doesn’t make you feel good, and having enough self-awareness and respect to say NO if you need to.
“Those cookies DO look really good, but right now I don’t want to feel tired, so I’m going to say no.”
It’s just like if you’re out with friends drinking, and those lemon drops are SUPER tasty and you’re feeling spunky from your two drinks and want a third, but you say NO because you don’t want to feel bad the next day, and you know a third would put you over the edge. It’s not a RULE that you can’t have a third. You simply don’t want to feel bad later, so you honor yourself and find OTHER WAYS to enjoy the moment.
It’s about NOT tying your morality to whether you do or don’t eat gluten.
You are not “good” or “being good” if you don’t eat gluten. You just didn’t eat it.
You are not “bad” or “being bad” if you do eat it. You just DID eat it and now you are more tired. It’s a simply choice you made – it doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you tired.
Neutralizing your thoughts around food as much as possible will only help you in being able to choose to say YES to what does feel good and a gentle NO to what doesn’t.
It’s desiring to feel GOOD more than wanting to eat the thing that you know won’t make you feel good.
“I really want to feel good right now, and eating those cookies is going to make me very tired, so I’ll pass for now. I can always have them later if I want to.”
It’s about choosing to *feel good* moment by moment.
“Just right now, I am choosing not to have this cookie so that I can feel good and be present.”
Want more support around learning to listen to and trust your own body?
- It’s almost time for summer, you know what that means! It’s gonna be another Self-Love Summer! Get on the waitlist for this incredible summer challenge here!
- You can also get started with the 28-Day Pleasure Plan today.
- Interested in working with me one on one? Awesome! I’d love to meet you! I have a few spaces open for you to work with me (sign up HERE to get private coaching info emailed to you right away).