Today I want to talk about making yourself a priority and why it’s important.
So often when a client comes to me, she will share that she’s having struggles such as comparison, not being able to eat intuitively, or dealing with perfectionism.
When we really get down to it, often the problems come from the client not making herself a priority.
For example, not allowing herself to choose what she really wants for lunch or choosing what she orders based on what everyone else is ordering to feel like she fits in.
Or, not getting in her morning quiet time or exercise because she is prioritizing taking care of her family and making sure that the house is perfectly together and set up for the day.
Or, the woman who feels out of control around food, but when we really look into it, she notices that she is letting everybody else make decisions around what’s for dinner based on their cravings, not her own. She is making decisions on what her kids, husband, or friends want to eat.
What does it mean to make yourself a priority?
Well if you look up the definition of “priority”, here’s what it says:
The fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important.
Yikes! With this definition, no wonder so many of us might think it’s selfish to make ourselves a priority (more on this in a second). If we are more important than something or someone else, then we feel like we’re giving less importance to whatever we’re choosing to NOT do in order to make ourselves a priority.
So if you have to leave your kids for 30 minutes while you exercise, you feel like in doing so you’re saying “My exercise is more important, my kids are less important.”
I much prefer the British definition of making yourself a priority and that is: the right to take precedence or to proceed before others.
That’s all it is to make something a priority… You’re giving yourself the right to take precedence or to proceed before something else.
Why is this important?
I want you to consider what happens when you do not prioritize yourself.
Perhaps you always let other people choose what you’re eating and every day you were left not feeling very good in your body. You feel sluggish, your stomach is messed up, you don’t feel very healthy, and you’re always holding out hope for when you’ll finally “get it together.”
Or perhaps you never take time for yourself in the morning, because you let everything else come before taking time for yourself. You end each day feeling burnt out, tired, and exhausted by the life you have. Perhaps you even feel resentful towards it.
Or, you end every lunch unsatisfied, because you’re always choosing what you think other people will approve of you eating. You’re always making choices based on what will work for others. You never really consider yourself and what you want when making a final decision.
What does this amount to?
Feeling exhausted and not trusting yourself. Feeling like you’ve left yourself behind. Like you come last. And, not having much left to give to others (in the way you want to) – often feeling resentful and snappy with the people closest to you.
For this woman, I want you to know that you are living ONE option of two experiences that are available to you. The other option that is available to you is to start making yourself a priority and to see what happens.
I dare you.
There is a ripple effects that takes place when you do this. You begin to feel better, and therefore you have more energy. The things you value finally get a place in your life. You no longer come last. Instead, you are taken care of first, and from there you’re energized to engage with whatever comes at you next. You’ve got this.
You’re happier with everyone around you. This includes the time you spend with your kids, the time is spend with your husband, and the time that you’re working.
Perhaps you find that at work you are much more productive and efficient. You feel much more accomplished, and you are proud of the work that you do.
In your relationship with your husband, you feel more connected, confident, and happier. You find yourself laughing again and wanting to have fun with your partner.
With your kids, you feel engaged and present. You feel less reactive and more responsive. You are willing to slow down to hear them.
Your energy is high. You’re not in a rush to get everything done. You have faith in yourself and in your life that the things that need to get done, will.
Guilt for Feeling Selfish
Often women stop themselves from choosing to prioritize themselves because of guilt.
Guilt for choosing to go for a run instead of sending time with their kids. Guilt for asking their husband to do something instead of doing it themselves. Guilt for taking time to themselves on a Saturday morning to plan out the week, instead of being home and doing something with the family. Guilt for having boundaries with work, and feeling the pressure to be available 100% of the time.
Again, we have to look at the ripple effect that this creates when we let guilt direct our decisions.
When we can look at it this way, we can see that NOT doing things – that have a POSITIVE ripple effect – because we feel guilty, isn’t helping anyone. It’s not allowing us to become the person we want to become.
The best news of all of this is that you can start making shifts today. You can start prioritizing yourself and experiencing the ripple effect of doing so today. You can become who you know you have the potential to be. You can experience the relationships you know you have the potential to experience.
Prioritize yourself, I dare you.
Your can start by booking a free coaching session for yourself. Do this by filling in the form for your free 60 minute discovery session on this page.
I hope this post was so valuable for you!