External Validation. Seeking It? Do This Instead.

External Validation. Seeking It? Do This Instead.

External Validation and Dopamine

At the age of 13, I got my first dose of the dopamine hit external validation provides. At the time, I experienced an overwhelming amount of attention and praise after losing weight. 

This validation felt good and led me down a path where my happiness hinged on the approval of others. Didn’t matter if it was from friends, boys, or even the number on a scale. 


This kind of validation was SO fleeting. I absorbed the praise like a sponge, quickly drying up, and always craving more to fill the void.

The Insatiability of Seeking External Validation

Navigating the highs and lows this brought, I eventually realized the absolute insatiability of relying on external validation for my self-worth. 

In a recent episode of the Living Brightly podcast (episode #123 Stop Seeking External Validation–listen on ​Spotify​ or ​Apple​), I share my struggle with seeking external validation.

The turning point came when I was 18 and accepted Christ into my heart. At this time, I began a personal relationship with Him and HE became where I found my significance. 

This shifted my perspective from seeking approval from others to finding my value in God. It’s what I’m teaching others in ​Live Brightly​ right now. 

A New Way

I’ve had several clients share, since we first talked about this, the impact it’s had on their relationships—romantic, friend, and family!—work life, and even the way they see themselves day-to-day.

They’re able to be more vulnerable and feel safer expressing unreserved enthusiasm for things they’re enjoying and/or are excited about (no longer fearing “what if I lose it?”). 

When your happiness no longer hinges on these things, you’re free to enjoy them.

Ultimately, my clients are giving themselves permission to live like God delights in them (He does!), and find their assurance in THAT. When you come from this place, you enjoy life differently. 

External Validation Podcast Episode

Listen to episode #123 Stop Seeking External Validation–on ​Spotify​ or ​Apple​–of the Living Brightly podcast. 

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