Self-pity is a DEAD END ROAD. If you are feeling stuck in self-absorbed unhappiness, do yourself a favor and keep reading (you’ll also want to check out this week’s podcast episode). If your mind feels completely distracted at times from the things you most care about, this is for you. I want to offer you a way to change, to take responsibility and turn this ship around. Self-pity needs to be cut off at inception. We need to learn to recognize it before it gets too far. Self-compassion is a welcome way to care for ourselves.
Listen to the Full Episode
Hard is not the same thing as impossible. I never want to miss out on amazing things in this life, simply because those amazing things were also hard. Does that feel true for you, too?
When we find ourselves in a negative headspace, or a self-pity pit, it can be so hard to pull our thought life into reverse and move away from that dangerous road. But again, hard is not the same as impossible.
Tell me, was there a time you found yourself in a sour mood, yet you mustered up the strength to change course, and decided to look on the bright side of things, decided to have a good attitude? I bet that decision wasn’t easy but WAS so worth it!
We are all SO capable of doing hard things. Read this line out loud, to affirm yourself with the truth: “I can do hard things!”
What hard things HAVE you done? I know there are plenty!
Have you had hard conversations with loved ones, to set boundaries?
Did you have to end a friendship that was no longer a healthy relationship?
Did you book a counselling or coaching session, knowing it was the wise thing to ask for help?
Have you apologized when you realized you messed up?
Take some time right now and reflect on aaaallll the hard things you have done in your lifetime so far.
Then, next time you find yourself in a self-pity pit (you know you are in one when your thoughts are consumed with unhappiness), remind yourself that you DO have the ability to choose and then do hard things.
The key to moving away from self-pity (and the self absorbed thoughts that come with it) is practicing self-compassion. It’s truly like learning a new language so give it time, grace and patience! When a self- pity thought comes, picture a backspace bar in your thoughts and then reword that statement with the dialect of self-compassion instead.
Who do you know that just ooozzes compassion? Your mother? Your best friend? Your sister? Your spouse? You child? A teacher? Respond to yourself as they would because you are SO deserving of being treated with compassion.
Self-pity keeps you stuck but self-compassion? It helps you move forward and enjoy life so.much.more!
The key is to be on the look out for self pity thoughts and then speak self-compassion thoughts to them ASAP!
Only YOU can choose to turn a self-pity car around, no one else can do it for you. BUT those around you definitely benefit when you do make this choice!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- The differences between self-pity and self-compassion
- The danger of staying in self-pity
- How recognizing the parts of the shared human experience can be helpful in offering self- compassion to yourself
Mentioned in this Episode:
- Self-compassion website by Dr Kristin Neff https://self-compassion.org/
- Sign up for the free lesson: 3-Secrets to Make Prioritizing Yourself Easier
- Connect with Paige on Instagram: @paigeschmidt
- Want to work with Paige? Start Aligned Coaching today.