Staying in Your Own Lane (and How Comparison Damages Self-Confidence)

How you can choose to stay in your own lane (And how comparison damages self-confidence).

Hey you!

Today I want to talk about staying in your own lane (aka, not comparing your journey to someone else’s).

If you think about it, you have a destination you’re trying to reach. That is, whatever goal(s) you are currently working toward.

Whether it be a peaceful/fun relationship with food where you can go to Food Truck Friday with friends, guilt-free, and even say yes to Coldstone Creamery (ice cream!) afterward… or you just want to be able to order a sandwich while your best friend, who you used to do bikini competitions with, orders a salad… your goal is freedom.

The road to FREEDOM looks much different than the road to a bikini competition. So it’s important to recognize when you’re veering out of your own lane and HOW to get back in it so that you can consistently arrive at the destination you set out for (aka, meet WAY more of your goals).

When you don’t stay in your own lane you might notice that:

  • You’re very “back and forth” – You don’t stick to what you set out to do. You’re constantly setting goals and then going back on them. You make a lot of commitments and end up canceling/bailing on most of them.
  • You’re inconsistent – You set a goal, work on it for a little while, then find yourself giving up. This happens so often that you’re now afraid to make commitments because you’re SURE you won’t follow through, no matter how badly you want them. You’re worried that whatever you set out to do won’t work, just like every other time.
  • You feel inauthentic – You don’t feel like you know who you are or what you like. What even are your preferences? What DO you like? Who DO you like to spend time with? What does make you happy?
  • You tend to confuse others – You’ve jumped around so much, other people don’t trust what you say. When you set a new goal, the people in your life tend to “poo-poo” it because they’ve seen you set (and not complete) goals before. People don’t take you seriously and this drives you crazy.

All of this added up makes you feel VERY insecure, unsure, and afraid to try anything new. You feel STUCK.

Comparison can show up for us in ANY area of life. A few common areas are:

  • relationship(s)
  • career
  • building a business
  • exercise
  • body image
  • food/diet
  • money/budgeting (and saving, or lack there-of)
  • things, including a home
  • parenting (even dog-mommin’)
  • hobbies

When you don’t stay focused on what you want but instead fall into spirals of comparison, you’re not able to fully experience the fulfillment that comes from achieving whatever you set out to do.

You’re not able to experience the confidence that comes from knowing that you stayed dedicated, despite what anyone else thought/said/did. That’s major!

When you are able to stay in your own lane you get to experience:

  • Joy, contentment, peace, and unshakeable faith
  • Confidence, which builds a strong self-trust and the inner knowing that you will be able to do whatever you set out for
  • Inner peace that that allows you to feel unshaken when someone is doing something differently than the way you do it
  • A calming response when you feel trigged (ex: you’re trying to save money but your BFF just bought tickets to see Justin Timberlake) versus a reactive “change of plans” when someone is doing something that contrasts with what you’re doing
  • The achievement of your goals – you will find that you’re actually saving money, creating peace with food, and developing a loving relationship with your body instead of just wishing for these things
  • Fuller relationships where you feel authentic, sturdy, and show up as the best version of yourself because you’re taking care of YOU first (and feeling great about it)

Did you love this post? I went even deeper into this topic, including talking about how to recognize when you’re veering our of your own lane and what to do so that you can come back to yourself, inside The Growth Vault this week.

I also gave all of my students an experiment to “try on” that will help them (it helps me!) redirect their attention back to what they’re working on to avoid falling deeper into the comparison trap when something “triggering” comes up (that would normally take them away from their focus).

Want the full scoop? Please, we’d love to have you! Hop in to The Growth Vault and you’ll get access to the entire audio training (immediately), plus, anything else I’ve ever created (like: the Budgeting + Saving Workshop, Finally Free, Authentically You, my eBook, and many other resources).

Oh, and next week I’m even adding in a new workshop on creating Values-Based Routine. Join us – just click here!

P.S. Want a sample of today’s audio-lesson on Staying in Your Own Lane from The Growth Vault? Send an email to paige@paigeschmidt.com and ask me for it. I’ll send it over!

Love, Paige
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