How do you want to feel?
What are you filling your mind with?
These two things are related. This is a little “food for thought” post. Something that was on my heart that I wanted to share and gather your thoughts on as well. So please, share your own thoughts with me in the comments!
If it’s true that your thoughts create your emotions, then we need to pay good attention to the thoughts we’re having and what’s creating those thoughts.
We need to create filters for what we’re choosing to fill our minds with.
Do you ever notice your mood being affected by certain music, shows, movies, INSTAGRAM (ahem), etc…? My hand is raised!
Here are some filters I choose for my own life:
- Instagram filter: This is my follow/unfollow filter. If I’m following someone on Instagram and notice myself feeling negative emotions or thoughts whenever I look at their posts, I’ll unfollow them. It’s my choice to fill my mind with what allows me to feel good.
- Music filter: I notice that music, sometimes more than others, heavily affects my mood. For example, right now I’m listening to classical music because it helps me to write. In the mornings I start my day with worship music because it helps me to feel connected to God, and when I feel connected to God I feel my best. When I want to relax and have fun, I turn on country or some sort of “hit” station. When Marco and I are road-tripping, I turn on country. It’s something we both love and it makes me feel connected to my husband.
- Movie filter: I hate scary movies. They give me the hebejebe’s and make me feel incredibly anxious. Same with violent movies. I don’t enjoy the suspense, I don’t enjoy the anxiety. They’re not fun for me, so I choose not to watch them. Instead, I watch things that entertain or uplift me.
- People filter: I choose who I want to spend most of my time with and make plans with those people. I don’t “write-off” negative people in my life. I feel that everyone needs love, and I believe that every action is an act of love, or a cry for love. However, I do spend the MOST amount of time with those who I feel my best around.
- Schedule filter: I choose where and how I want to spend my time. I make sure that I have a good balance of all the things I value: time with God, my husband, my friends, meetings with clients, time to write, time to be alone, time to travel, and time to be at home. When one thing feels off balance, I simply adjust my schedule as best I can.
A few other things I believe we need to pay attention to, to balance our thoughts and emotions:
- Positive reinforcement
Self-compassion might sound like acknowledging ourselves in this way: “Everyone goes through hard things sometimes. I am not alone. This is very hard. That’s okay. I am not wrong for feeling this way. Now what can I do that would help me to feel supported right now?”
Questioning might look like asking ourselves: “What will I choose to do with these thoughts? Will I choose to believe everything that I hear or think? Will I learn to question what I hear/think to make sure it’s actually true? (I talk about questioning in my 10-day deep dive course, Authentically You).
Positive reinforcement might look like: Having a general idea of your go-to’s when you’re feeling down. For example: calling up a friend, diving into your journal, or turning on worship music (or your favorite kind of music) to lift you up.
What do you think? Do you agree that your thoughts create your emotions? What filters do you intentionally choose, to create the kind of emotions that you want to have? What ARE the emotions that you want to have? Let’s talk more about this in the comments!