Last night Marco and I walked downtown to get a RedBox movie. As we were walking back I said to him “I want something sweet, but nothing sounds good… this is a problem…”
I went through the list… ice cream? fro-yo? hot cocoa? chocolate?
Cookies and milk!
Yep, sounded fab. And conveniently, we were walking by Batch, which is Marco’s favorite ice cream sandwich shop, and they sell cookies too. So, we walked in, Marco got his favorite ice cream sandwich, and I got not one cookie, but two.
We walked home, got in PJ’s, set up our movie, and cozied-up to watch our movie. I filled a glass with milk, brought my cookies into the living room, cuddled up in my blanket, and had a little bit of my first cookie.
I lost focus of the cookies for a bit while I watched the movie. A bit later, had a little more. Went back to watching the movie. After while, with the permission I had to have those cookies, I ended up feeling satisfied and like I could care-less about the second one.
I asked M if he wanted it and he did.
The permission to have the cookies in a SUPER calm no-big-deal-sure-you-can-have-a-cookie way allowed me to relax, have fun, and enjoy the cookie.
This is today.
Want to know what would have happened six-years ago?
I would have thought to myself “I want something sweet.”
Then my danger alert would have gone off, and I would have definitely said some things along the lines of “this is my weakness!”
Then I would have likely just eaten anything sweet, even if it didn’t sound good.
And you know what would have happened then? I would have totally thrown out the towel. Felt kinda bad about myself for even wanting cookies – who are you?! – and would have eaten way too many, even if I didn’t actually want that many.
My thoughts would’ve been clouded by the judgement I felt about myself for wanting something sweet, and my judgements around sweets and how “bad” I thought they were. There would have been no space left for me to actually tune-in.
THIS is what used to happen when I gave food way too much power and would start out by saying “this is my weakness” when I had a craving.
It’s basically your instant permission to justttt eat all the cookies.
It’s basically you saying “I have no control over this food, and when I eat it, all things go out the window.”
But do you have to do that? What does that reinforce?
It reinforces for you that you have no control. That you can’t trust yourself around cookies. That cookies are addicting, and who are those people who can only eat one.
The truth is… you do have control – all of our Finally Free babes know this well. Cookies are not your weakness (even if they currently feel like they are, they don’t have to be).
Your mindset is important.
Instead of saying “this food is my weakness.”
Try having a mindset of “Yeah, a cookie does sound good. No-big. How about I get one that I can really enjoy and enjoy it with an ice-cold glass of milk?”
It doesn’t have to be this all-or-nothing if-we’re-having-cookies-we’re-going-all-out.
Same with ANYTHING else.
“____________ is/are my weakness.” Fill in the blank. It works for anything.
Instead of focusing your weakness, focus on permission, and tuning-in. What do you actually want? Want would feel good? What would leave you feeling satisfied?
You have permission to eat the cookie.
Cookies are not BAD.
Sure, if you eat, 5, 10, 15 cookies, you’re probably not going to feel good.
But that doesn’t mean that 1 or 2 cookies, fully enjoyed, are bad.
And truth be told… even if you DO try to NOT have cookies, ever, this mentality usually leads to eating way to many when you finally do have them (all of us usually “give-in” at some point) and you’ll PROBABLY end up eating just as many cookies at the end of your life than if you just allowed yourself to have a normal amount WHEN you actually wanted them.
Right? Can you relate?
This was a HUGE ah-ha moment for me in my own story.
I hope this post was helpful. Let me know if you’re going to focus on swapping “this is my weakness” for permission, tuning-in, and eating in a way that feels good, is more calm, and more pleasurable. Have a question or experience to share? I’d love to hear! Post it below in the comments.
Pssst… this post isn’t to shame ANYONE who does say “this food is my weakness.” Rather, it’s just to highlight more of what may be going on when we do say this.