I remember a trip I went on with some of my girl friends in Palm Springs. We had THE BEST time.
But… you wanna know what it was like for me the week before this trip?
I cried on the couch to my mom. I almost cancelled. In fact, I told my mom that I thought I SHOULD cancel. I was so insecure about the weight I’d gained.
I HAD gained weight. VERY necessary weight (see my story if you haven’t yet).
However… though I knew I needed to gain weight, it was still a struggle to accept myself (the number on the scale will never change the level of acceptance we have for ourselves – that’s an inside job).
I had ALL of the negative thoughts. I assumed ALL of the negative things people would think about me. I was blinded. Distracted. In the process of moving away from obsession (it’s such a process and is NOT an overnight success).
Now, looking back… I wish I could talk to my younger self and encourage her. Let her know that she didn’t need to worry about any of these things. Not because she was “small enough” not to worry… but because NO one would be thinking about her body anyway.
And if they were, then that wasn’t my problem anyway. That was THEIR issue to deal with – I was 100% worthy and valuable and that had nothing to do with the size of my body.
Going to the beach, vacations, the lake… it’s not about our bodies. It’s about being in the water and having a great time. Being in the moment. Creating memories.
I didn’t need to worry about my body then and I don’t need to worry about my body today. The same is true for you.
Though, bathing suits are STILL not my favorite thing to try on/buy/wear… I now know that it’s NOT about the bathing suit. It’s NOT about my body. It’s about the memories I make. The people I’m with. The new things I learn.
So THIS SUMMER, I commit to embracing my body as she is TODAY. She’s changed, and that’s okay. I take great care of her. I love her, I cherish her, I appreciate all she can do.
While I struggle to 100% accept all parts of myself (don’t we all?) I promise to continually move TOWARD a place of letting go and EMBRACING, rather than holding on and controlling.
So, what are the things you are thinking about cancelling because you don’t have the body you think you should have?
Having fun! Making plans. Being social.
Treating ourselves! Taking trips! Getting that manicure and/or pedicure.
Feeling beautiful and important.
Saying yes to the small things throughout the day that make us smile and make us feel filled with joy.
Calling friends and scheduling those coffee dates and getting that personal connection that you’re craving.
What if we can start enjoying life NOW (as if we were already at our goal weight) and stop waiting for something (that might not even be real/true/necessary) to arrive?
What kind of summer have you been dreaming of having, but haven’t allowed yourself to have because of your body?
Close your eyes for just a moment and picture whatever it is that you’ve been wanting. When you have that image in your head hold onto it. I want you to look for where you are, what you’re wearing, what your facial expression looks like, what you’re thinking. Who are you surrounded by? What is new about your life?
Make a list of what you see in that image and start doing those things that you are in control of today – just see what happens!
I’d love love love LOVE to have you come on over and join us in Self-Love Summer in The Growth Vault. In SLS we’re committing to summers that are focused on letting go of control, leaning into EMBRACE, and releasing anxieties around food/body/perfection.
Click HERE to join The Growth Vault – Self Love Summer is waiting for you inside among so much other great content to help you step into all of the freedom you so desire!