“You Do You” Or… Maybe Don’t?

Yesterday I was driving to meet friends at the pool with Selah. We were on the freeway, and a woman passed us in a convertible with a license plate that read “u do u.”

She then proceeded to inch up on the car in front of her, clearly annoyed they were driving too slow for her liking (mind you, they were probably going 80).

I thought, “How ironic… ‘u do u’ unless I don’t like it. Then don’t. Then, do what I want you to do, please and go faster.”

We live in a world where you’re told over and over again to “do it for you,” “you do you, boo,” “main character energy,” and “choose yourself.”

I get it. I really do. It all starts out well-intentioned. Most of it, anyway.

But everything is on a pendulum in this world.

We sway from eras where thinness and eating disorders prevail… to eras where body positivity and intuitive eating prevail.

I’ve been part of both.

But what about the era where we make healthy choices because we’re better to others for having made them?

I don’t know about you, but since getting married… I am not my own.

I am one with my husband. He is one with me.

He lives in a way where he does everything for Selah and me. I am so thankful for every single healthy choice he makes, seeking to be a good man for his family.

Thank you, Marco.

Having been raised by a dad who lived selflessly for his family and completely selfishly for himself, I have the utmost respect for men and women who make healthy choices to be the best they can for their families.

When did we stop talking about making healthy choices so that we can be better for others?

When did that become… taboo? Like, “Oh my gosh, don’t do it for them… do it for YOU!”

But when I became a mom, my old life truly passed away, and a new me was born.

Perspective changed.
Responsibility changed.
Time, energy–everything changed.

My life was no longer just my own.

And I want to make the healthiest choices I can to be the best mom Selah could have.

I am happy to do that for her.

I want to be a mom who considers her best interests when I’m making choices.

I want to ask myself how my decisions affect her.

When did that stop being part of the conversation?

This brings me to some questions for you:

• Who in your life right now do your daily choices affect?
• What choices lead you to be the most kind, loving, gentle, peace-filled, gracious, joyful woman God created you to be?
• Are you focusing on those things? Are you doing them?
• Are you giving yourself permission to make the choices that make you the best you can be for others?

Jesus did everything for others.

He constantly did God’s will. For God’s glory and the good of others.

He didn’t make choices just to benefit himself.

Even when He rested, it was so that He could go back out and pour into others again.

Everything He did was tied to the glory of God and the good of people.

We’re called to follow Him.

To become more like Him.

To make choices for God’s glory and the good of others.

I care for myself not just so I can feel great about feeling great, but so I can show up fully, brightly, lovingly to my family.

So I can bring peace, joy, and gratitude into our home… not resentment or burnout.

I take my time with God so that He is guiding me. So that He is renewing me.

I’m just so curious…

Where do you need to give yourself permission to make choices for others?

Where do you have a responsibility to make good choices because of the people you’re blessed to have in your life?

Where do you need to take some ownership?

What kind of mom do you want your kids to have?

What kind of wife do you want your husband to enjoy a relationship with?

And what are you doing to nurture being that person… for them?

I don’t think this should be a taboo thing to talk about.

In fact… I want to talk about it more.

Brightly,

Paige

P.S. If you need support in truly walking as the woman God created you to be–you at your brightest and most whole–please check out 1:1 coaching with me. I’d love to help you move to where you want to be.